Several years back I reminisced a few humorous moments of my father, Dr. R.E. Bailey’s, time in practice. Dad passed away on April first. He, himself, would have considered that date fitting. In memory, I’d like to revisit these events and share his interesting way with people. Those of you who knew him will chuckle at his amusing ways and a few may even remember and have stories of your own.
In the days when my father, Dr. Bailey, Sr., and I worked together, there were occasional conversations that I couldn’t help but jot down. He was loved by his clientele, many of whom still ask about him. I know he wouldn’t mind us having a few laughs with him. The following are but a few memories of the “good ‘ole days.”
My father did have the tendency to answer the question that is asked rather than the intended meaning of the question. The following is a summary of dialog that took place between he and a specific client.
The client asked, “How long does it take a female dog to have puppies?” The response by Dr. Bailey Sr., was, “Oh, usually just a few minutes.” Another time the old doc asked a client, “Would you like to bury him or do you want us to take care of the remains?” The client replied, “I don’t know how I’d bury him unless I just dug a hole and put him in it.” Dr. Bailey replied, “That’s the best way”.
On another occasion, Dr. Bailey, Sr., said, “Is he scratching?” The client replied, “How do I know what he feels? I’m not in his skin!” And, Dr. Bailey, Sr., said, “I didn’t ask you if he itched, I asked you if he scratched.”
A client complained that what she was requested to give her animal didn’t work. The conversation went something like this: Woman, “Yeah, I used some; but it didn’t seem to help.” And Dr. Bailey, Sr., said, “Yes it did.” The client responded, “Did it?” Then Sr., said, “Sure, but you couldn’t tell it.” The woman’s only response was just a plain, “Oh.”
Another incident I recall goes something like this, my father said to the client, “And use this, it doesn’t work as fast as the other; but it kills those fleas that get on between sprayings.” I later asked him, “Why, if it gets those that get on between sprayings, do you have to spray again?”
This is a conversation I overheard. Dr. Bailey, Sr., said, “I’m sorry, we don’t work on large animals any longer.” The client responded, “But he’s just a little pig.”
A client once asked my father, “Could that be a seven pound dog?” To which Dad replied, “It could, if it wasn’t so fat!”
Once, while explaining to a client, whose dog had been scooting on the carpet, that the reason for the scooting was an irritated anus caused by an anal sac problem, the lady had a plethora of questions which evidently irritated the doctor. The conversation ended like this: Dr. Bailey, Sr., said, “Just rub a little Vaseline on his anus once in a while.” The client responded, “Will that help?” My Dad said, “No, but he’ll slide a lot easier!”
Then there was the woman who said her dog was having multiple seizures. She told Dad that her animal had been placed on seizure medication and still continued to have quite a few seizures. Dad asked, “What’s the name of the medicine she’s on?” The client replied, “It’s spelled a-c-e-p-r-o-m-a-z-i-n-e.” Dr. Bailey, Sr., replied, “That’s not seizure medicine. That’s a tranquilizer.” After a few milliseconds of deep thought she came back, “Then I guess she’s not having seizures!”
Dad was taking in a cat to spay and was in the process of taking information on the animal. While in the examination room, he started to open the box in which the animal was transported. This box was a large square one in which a tin of popcorn had come. Opening the container was no small task and, as the owner and my father cut the strings and many yards of tape securing it, the owner nervously commented that the cat was rather wild. As dad slowly lifted the lid, the top of the box exploded and a frenzied ball of fur and claws went straight up like an erupting volcano. I thought this only happened in cartoons: but, this flash of energy seemed to hang in mid-air about two feed above the box before it flew out of the exam room into the reception area, and then on to another exam room without touching a thing. Very calmly, while beginning to write on the record, my father commented: “Okay, that’s what I needed to know … if she was yellow.”
Dr. Richard Eugene Bailey: November 24, 1928 – April 1, 2012 (April fool’s day).
He practiced veterinary medicine in southwest Tulsa from 1965 to 1990. Thanks, Dad.
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